000. Life Lessons by EKR & DK

 

 

ㅡ Relationships

Remember that a teacher will appear when you are ready for the lesson. p65

And if we want to be who we really are, shouldn't we allow them to be who they really are? p68

ㅡ Loss

there is no growth without loss,
there also is no loss without growth. p80

The love that you have felt and the love you have given cannot be lost. p93

ㅡ Power

Our power comes from the knowledge that we are unique, and from our understanding that we have the same innate power as all other creations. p96

We become more powerful in relationships and life when we let go of control, realizing that we cannot conrol people, things, or events - that was all an illusion. p99

When I see you as strong, I recognize the strength that is within me. When I see you as loving I can't help but respond lovingly, and find the love that's inside me. p101

The dying can no longer play the game of more because, for them, theee may be no tomorrow. p102

A grateful person is a powerful person, for gratitude generates power. All abundance is based on being grateful for what we have. p103

ㅡ Guilt

Many parents are unhappy when their children say no. In fact, it's wonderful when children learn to say no, at the appropriate times. We all should learn to say no ㅡ early, loud, and clear.
The desire to please others is a fertile ground for guilt. p108

You have made being a mother a wonderful experience for me. p109

ㅡ Time

In life when one door closes, another door always opens... but the hallways are a bitch. That is how change works... But just when we feel we can't take it anymore, something new emerges. p119

To age gracefully is to experience fully each day and season. When we have truly lived our lives, we don't want to live them again. It's the life that was not lived that we regret. p121

How many of us see our parents as who they are today? ... Their feelings have nothing to do with the content of their mail today; they see the mail in the past. and the same holds true for ourselves. And if we're not living in the moment, we can't find hsppiness... he was still so in the moment you felt incredibly connected to him as he listened to what was going on with you. p122~

The reality of time is that we can't be certain about the past. We don't know if it really happened the way we think it did. p125

In looking at the lives and deaths of others we often say that people died before their time... Beethoven Joan of Arc John F. Kennedy Jr. ... Were any of these lives incomplete? . . . the reality is that we don't die before our time. When we die, it is our time. p127

ㅡ Fear

Our fears don't stop death, they stop life. p132

He had lived in fear so long he coul not see a future without it. Our culture sells fear. p133

Indeed, fears are tricky because they are so well layered, one on top of the other. p136

Having chosen love doesn't mean you will never fear again... We must continually choose love in order to nourish our souls and drive away fear ... Infusing ourselves with love begins the washing away of our fears. p139

Patients at the edge of life will tell you that they find incredible happiness in realizing that there is nothing to fear, nothing to lose...  Practice doing the small things that you are afraid of doing.  p141

The next time you're afraid, have compassion... have compassion for yourself...  You will be surprised how compassion melts away fear.  p142

letting go, or at least living in spite of fear, surprisingly and paradoxically, returns you to a place of safety. p145

ㅡ Anger

Anger is just that - a feeling. It's a feeling to be experienced, not judged. p147

We're so used to letting our minds dominate that we forget our feelings and our bodies. Notice how many times you begin a sentence with "I think" rather than "I feel." ... Anger tells us that we haven't dealt with our hurt. Hurt is present pain, while anger is often lingering pain. As we gather these hurts and do not address them, our anger grows... We begin to see ourselves as bad people. p148

When we turn our anger inward, it often expresses itself in feelings of depression or guilt. p149

We're more accustomed to dealing with our anger than with our fear. It's easier for us to say to a spouse "I'm angry at you" than it is to say "I'm afraid you'll leave."  p151

It would be great if hospitals had a room where you could go and scream - not at anyone, just out loud. Wouldn't it be great if we all had a safe room where we could let out our anger? ... It helps some people to call God names, scream into a pillow, even pound a baseball bat on their hospital beds to externalize their anger ... now they feel closer to God than ever ... And I realized that my anger was not even about Him, anyway. p154

She ran into the backyard and in all the noise and rain, screamed at the top of her lungs into the thunder and sky about how angry she was ... raising her fist to the sky ... Then, for the first time in years, she said, "I finally felt at peace again."  p155

EKR : But those who stayed with me allowed me to be, not judging me or my anger, and that helped to dissipate it. I have taught that patients must be allowed to express their anger and must give themselves permission to do so ... normal reactions ... Babies and young children feel their feelings and move through them. They cry and it passes, they get angry and it passes.  p155~

ㅡ Play
Playing is not just a pastime for kids, it's our lifr force... To play is to live life to its fullest. p158

ㅡPatience

You may 'want' something right now but may not get it for a while, if ever. You will, however, always get what you 'need', even if it does not fit into your mental picture.

the ability to delay gratification is important.

There is a reason for every experience ... Everything that has happened has occurred so that we can get the lessons we need.

The universe is more concerned with your experience of love .. the universe is more concerned with your experience of life.

ㅡ Surrender

Then can you believe that in this situation there may be a bigger picture in your life, and in your loved one's lives? Maybe these lessons just aren't for you, maybe they're for everyone. Just like the traffic controller was concerned with every plane in the sky, not just yours? He understood that surrender was a choice, and that it did not mean giving up.  p188

but the left side of my body, the feminine side is underdeveloped. The feminine side is the side that receives... I must learn patience and surrender. This is my lesson now, learning to receive love, receive care, to be nurtured...  p189

When is the right time to surrender? In what situations? Every day, every monent, and every situation is an opportunity for surrender... Between life and death we get lost because we forget to surrender.  p193

the serenity prayer - God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  p195

ㅡ Forgiveness

When we forgive, we remember that someone was not at their best when they hurt us. We remember that they are more than their errors... We don't have to forgive the behavior, we only need to forgive the person.  p199

We must get that blocked energy out by yelling into a pillow, telling a friend how angry we are, screaming, or doing whatever else it takes to let it out... Our business is our peace of mind, our happiness.  p200

And even if we did hurt someone intentionally, it was probably because we were in pain... We are here in this life to make mistakes, to accidentally hurt one another, to get ourselves lost from time to time. If we were prefect, we wouldn't be here at all... Remember that forgiveness is not a once-in-a-lifetime task, it is ongoing. It is our spiritual maintenance plan. Forgiveness helps keep us at peace and in touch with love.   p205

ㅡ Happiness

it is not unusual to hear fromm people in remission(병 차도있음) that they were actually happier when they thought their days were numbered.  p208

finding happiness is essentially our purpose of life... And remember that you have more to give to others, to the suffering, when you are happy.  p209

If we see the past in a bad light, as lacking purpose or meaning, we plant the seeds that willl grow into similar futures.  p210

No matter who we are, what we have, or what we can do, we're always less than someone else in one way or another... Happiness comes from seeing ourselves as being okay, just as we are, today, without comparison to others, without reference to the way we were or the way we fear we will be.  p211

ㅡ Final Lesson

Some of the most committed, giving, and loving people seem unaware of the impact they have on the world... They seem to lack the ability to see the truth about who they really are... He also made mistakes, but that didn't matter, not only because he did so many wonderful things, but because he learned from his errors.   p221

Often, we don't recognize our goodness until the end of life. Wd need to remember that we are here to try to remember our goodness and remind each other of our preciousness, and the miracle of each other.  p221

You will never again experience the world...  with these parents, children, and families. You will never have quite this set of friends again... Don't wait for one last look at the ocean, the sky, the stars, or a loved one. Go look now.  p224